WELL FOLKS. LOOKS LIKE IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. WE'VE PARTNERED UP FOR THIS MAGNIFICENT EVENT WITH OUR BRETHREN TO THE WEST, SAN FRANCISCO'S AS YOU LIKE IT CREW. HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THE ULTIMATE FACE FUCKING SHIT FEST TO HIT THIS PLANET SINCE, WELL SINCE WE GAVE YOU LAST YEARS FACE FUCKING SHIT FEST. SHIT SHOW 3 IS REAL, AND SHIT SHOW 3 WILL TAKE NO PRISONERS.
TIME SLUTS (subject to change, probably won't be though)
7:00-8:30 DANIEL BELL.
8:30-9:30 PUBLIC LOVER LIVE.
9:30-10:45 TILL VON SEIN. (DETROIT DEBUT)
10:45-11:45 KOLLEKTIV TURMSTRASSE LIVE. (DETROIT DEBUT / DETROIT EXCLUSIVE)
11:45-1:00 JOZIF. (DETROIT EXCLUSIVE)
1:00-2:30 RYAN CROSSON.
2:30-4:00 RICH KORACH. (DETROIT EXCLUSIVE)
5:30-7:00 TIM SWEENEY. (DETROIT EXCLUSIVE)
7:00-8:15 MAX JACOBSON vs JEFFREY FELCH.
8:15-9:30 SPECIAL GUEST.
9:30-11:00 PATRICK RUSSELL. (DETROIT EXCLUSIVE)
11:00-12:30 SASSMOUTH VS MOSSMOSS (super shitty showdown).
12:30-2:00 CESARE vs. DISORDER vs. JULIETTA.
2:00-3:30 MIKE SHANNON.
3:30-5:00 DARKCUBE LIVE.
6:30-7:00 DETHLAB LIVE.
Deep & Disco
7:00-8:30 LEELEE MISHI.
8:30-10:00 NOEL JACKSON.
11:30-1:00 BRIAN BEJARANO.
1:00-2:00 MAGIC TOUCH LIVE.
2:00-3:15 HENRY CHOW VS SASHA BRAVERMAN.
3:15-4:30 SAPPHO VS THE PERFECT CYN.
5:45-7:00 PHILLIP STONE.
Some rambling bullshit about this fucked up event:
Last year over 2000 of you sociopaths joined us for what is the best worst experience of a lifetime. Last year was impressive, you really brought your A game, and we're expecting more, bigger, better, and shittier. Seriously, get a fucking life insurance quote. It seems like this event has become somewhat of an addiction for you. You know it might kill you, venues are refusing to host it because of the liability involved, yet we still push it, and you still show up. It's like a pack of smokes, we'll warn you that there's a 68% chance that you won't survive, we put a picture of a bound asian throwing up on the flyer to try and scare you, but you'll still be there. And we commend you for that, because not everyone can hang.We're moving away from our former venue to a bigger and better spot. Simply put, the former said that what shit show has become, they just couldn't do it any more. Great. Oh, that petting zoo, yeah that's going to get trumped, I thought that I was totally fucked for finding something to top that, but I did, seriously, and I can't even fucking believe it's happening, and once again, you'll have no idea what, how or when it will happen, but this shit is going to blow your mind.
The new venue is massive, and literally a block from Hart Plaza so you'll be able to walk back and forth as you please, drinks will be cheap, the girls will be easy, and every corner will be a new (sometimes scary depending on the strength of your acid) surprise waiting for you. Funny story: last year we resuscitated some guy who looked like he was about to literally kick the bucket, or he was just having a REALLY GOOD TIME (it's all relative) and his first reaction to us saving his life? Bought us a round of fucking beer. Seriously, you almost died, and we save you, and our reward is beer. What kind of heaven did we create?
**POSSIBLE ACTIVITIES IN ADDITION TO THE MUSIC**:
:: COFFIN RIDES :: FURRIES :: FAT CHICKS IN LITTLE HATS :: TACOS :: GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES :: DEEP FRIED EVERYTHING STATION :: EASTER EGG DECORATING SESSIONS :: BASKET WEAVING :: SHOE POLISH :: BUBBLE YUM :: YO-YO DEMONSTRATION :: PAINT HUFFING :: BUILD-A-BEAR WORKSHOP :: CANDLE MAKING :: BODY BAG RACES :: PUTT-PUTT :: JOHN STAMOS LOOK-ALIKE CONTEST :: MUGSHOTS :: DIY TRAMP STAMP TATTOO BOOTH :: LEATHER TANNING :: WORLD OF WARCRAFT :: KNIFE SHARPENING :: MORE MORE MORE ::
This event is sponsored by the NRA & NCAA. Warn your friends, and write your will, and make sure you come here looking fucking good, you don't want to be that jackass with a really stupid looking mugshot, do you?