- TDK Cross Central Festival
Centrally for Talented Determined Kats to Cross-Over Kings Cross
(nudge nudge wink wink)
TDK Night 1
After intense promotion, TDK Cross Central festival finally presented its sweet little ass to us. It was spread over nine ‘unique’ areas (as opposed to carbon copies?) and rarely did your loyal scribe detect a soundclash between stages. Props to the organisers. No overcrowding like last year… and what a blinding bestival crowd. You know who you were.
With some tidy vodka smuggling, RA. entered the 89th festival of the summer, beaming like the sun earlier. Kolourful kats pranced everywhere, styling Goldfrappesque masks that were free on arrival for resourceful types i.e. freebie hunters like moi. Enveloping tunes throbbed east and west. Smooth landing RA.
Jamie Lidell – Canvas 2
Looking truly resplendent in a very Hefner green paisley smoking jacket, the resident Berliner thanked the crowd in earnest before f**king our ears oh so sweetly. “Six months ago I wouldn’t have been here, so thanks for all your support”. Ahh, geezer sincerity that could almost bring a tear. He immediately spat out a deep kickdrum and slew a throaty bassline sound over the top that would have Rahzel shifting nervously in his bigass pants. Joined by a nutcase wearing a strap-on…video camera, he performed some fairly psychotic VJing. Liddell even got two members out of the front row to join him on stage for his last number and boy could those Warped muthafunkas croon. Die-hard underground fans are the best.
Four Tet – Canvas 2
Sublime. His live re-edits had the loved-up punters shaking their shit on the dancefloor. Four Tet ebbed and flowed his set, offering sweet melodic experiments with vague tempo, then pausing for applause and vaulting into crazygonuts drum n bass with jazzy tinges. Substance AND style. And big hair.
Mr Scruff - Canvas
Hats off to Mr Scruff for his 8 hours of cheeky soul, switching between bangra, boogie and blissful bongos. He even remembered RA from my birthday set at Melbourne’s Revolver in Feb 2003. Scruff kept it cohesive and beautiful; an example of methodical DJing and an affectionately thumbed library of records. The crowd barely gurned too; allowing for trainspotting discussions and collective sighs: “What a collection Scruff must have!” (appreciative stare at booth). Scorching set!
Goldfrapp – Main Stage
Goldfrapp suffered sound problems (scuzzy not fuzzy), but still managed to pull off their slippery Fischerspooner with tits shtick. Alison was uber-hot, gyrating through ‘Train’ and ‘Strict Machine’, while waif-models with horse heads (literally) did something purporting to be arty and mysterious; lost on us due to the sound sketchiness. She saved her femme fatale moves for ‘Oh La La’, which raised a roar. Impressive, but we all know they can do bootier.
Kurtis Mantronix – Canvas 2
Fuck Yeah! Sometimes words are superfluous. Mantronix EQed slabs of murky sonics, ripping each track apart with an electro scalpel then reconstructing his victim into a new body. There was even the token hot chick next to Kurtis giving him (and us) her babe rays. His take on electro was filthier than my sex analogies. Proper style for the voodoo chile.
Geddes – The Key – Middle Arch
Our posse craved another dose of layered electro, after Mantronix's over-too-soon set finished. And raw-like-sushi electro in the morning is as hot as a no-strings-attached blowjob. But seeing as that was gained 48 hours earlier this was just fine. The Middle Arch was more crammed than a stock market, with just as much jaw-twitching.
TDK Day 2
Mocky – Canvas 3
Mickey Mouse Motherfuckers. Michael Bolton tributes with death metal. Major Maple Leaf rapping. A small army jumped to Mocky’s ironic workouts, laced by an Aussie hip hop scratch-master and go-to-bassguy Taylor Savvy. Mocky sang while posturing upside down from a table; never losing his cool. Seasoned.
Vitalic – Canvas 3
After meeting a Polish princess, it was back to the underground buzz of TDK: Vitalic. He got an illuminating emerald-lasered welcome, the cheers much louder than the collective Goldfrapp clap. Holy Mackerel. We went bonkers using reach-for-the-sky manoeuvres straight outta kindergarten. Valletta Fanfares and La Rock torched the place, shifting around the pulse in the crowd like the warm spot in the pool. Money.
Mutabaruka – Canvas 2
RASTA MAN RISE UP!! His side-kick Jah-mayk-ennn rapper, toasted me up then toasted the mike. Footage on my phone confirmed this. Electro has even penetrated dancehall riddims, probably through the PlayStation grime germination East London is Fed-Exing. Mutabaruka’s flows had punch too.
Grace Jones – Main Stage
Fellating the mike? Check. Intimidating cameltoe? Check. Bumper-Rearrangement? BAM. The welcoming outside stage buzzed with Jones’ presence before Eurostar aggression gave way to an unintentional parody. In mere minutes a 'view to a kill' became 'let’s go and chill'. She looked magnificent though, in pink-twirled headwear and eyelashes that she actually needed a permit to bring on stage.
Tiefschwarz – Canvas 3
These German kookballs have charisma; bug-eyed soul-glowing charisma that has them prodding the moon lamps lingering a metre above and out from the decks, making bursting bubble sign language and prying their eyelids open wider than CDs. Higher State of Consciousness and Blue Monday linked with fantastic electro house stabs, jacking the boat. The Tiefschwarz siblings have finally come into their own as decknicians, not a helicopter in ear-shot.
Felix Da Housecat – Main Stage
Like Goldfrapp, Felix suffered slightly from having a large canyon to fill; choosing to boom his bass sound like a kickdrum… allowing no room for the real drums to breathe. Armand, 2 Many DJS and Deep Dish can nail it in the massive arena, but Felix lacked the levels, “Lithium” (Dirty Funker Bootleg) epitomising this.
Mylo – Canvas 3
You know why we always go and watch Mylo? Because he packs a continental breakfast of tunes designed to sate the appetite at your dreamy 5am state in the morn. An exhilarated crowd bonded with very PLUR nonchalance (pat one’s back now). Who else has the balls/brain/brawn to drop “Mothership Reconnection” (Scott Grooves remix) before subsequently adjusting the all-important pressure. And Miles, you coped very well with the messy units bumping you like moths around the decks. A well-timed hip and shoulder on Johnny Coke-Eyes at 5.58am ensured Doctor Pressure cleansed the lobes.
Fat Tuesday – Foyer
Getting dusty with divas that are busty; everyone likes that. Fat Tuesday gave us Billie Jean floor lights which had me reminiscing about my devout Catholic family back home for some reason; hmmm, thanks for the cheekiness during Vitalic random trustable. Gilles Peterson, Ashley Beedle, Mark Rae and the Nextmen were noticeably on form. The Foyer and Southern Comfort both dispatched a clubby change when needed by the R.A posse, thankyou gentlemen and ladies.
Track To Write Home To Your Cousin About
Thomas Anderson’s ‘Washing Up’ (Tiga remix) corker was everywhere; all psycho synths and accessible Aphex Twin squeal-chorus. Analogue lives!! Erol Alkan played it on an XFM set a few months back, then I saw Darren Emerson drop it at The End, before hearing it like 4 times at TDK. It’s the sexier cousin of Alter Ego’s ‘Rocker’, all ass-pinching innuendo and you-can-stay-in-my-bed-but-we-won’t-do-anything. Which is fine if you’re into that sort of thing. “Snap”.