- On Friday, December 2nd, 36 artists and music lovers from my native Bay Area died in the Oakland Ghost Ship fire. Some were close friends, others I'd admired from afar for years. Since moving to LA a while back, I hadn't seen much of this community. I was at home when the horrific events unfolded, leaving me feeling completely isolated. I was eager to join my people in their collective grief, so I made my way to San Francisco on Saturday for As You Like It, a party remembering the lives of Johnny Igaz (AKA Nackt), Chelsea Faith (AKA Cherushii) and Amanda Allen.
It wasn't an easy night. As the event approached, the thought of going grew increasingly daunting. It was the strangest I've ever felt in a club, partly because the venue, Public Works, is a space I know intimately enough to tell you every secret coat-stashing nook and unnecessary detail about the soundsystem. As You Like It was also the first club night I ever went to in San Francisco, an experience I'd been building up to after years spent at underground events not unlike the one at Ghost Ship. I grew up in these clubs and DIY spaces. I, like so many others, was educated here.
Public Works is one of San Francisco's major nightlife spots and Saturday's fantastic lineup brought in a typically large and diverse crowd. The dance floor was packed, though the familiar faces I've known to provide much of the infrastructure of this particular community weren't really there to dance. We made beelines for each other. We cried and we hugged, trying to figure out how best to support everyone through their varying stages of grief.
It would do everyone still reeling from this great loss a disservice, I think, to say that Saturday night provided the romanticised glow of catharsis that's expected to follow a tragedy. It was just too soon. Many of our usual devotees couldn't stomach the thought of a dance floor without some of the brightest lights of our community.
After a while, though, there was an exhale. San Francisco mainstays Mossmoss and Sassmouth held it down, and I was finally overhearing the familiar, excited chatter about new projects and favorite releases. Prins Thomas, Tama Sumo, Dorisburg and a handful of other generous artists came through with great sets in sensitive circumstances. Over the course of the night, I heard the same thing from so many of us who, this time, couldn't quite give the music our full attention: "I'm glad a lot of people are dancing. I'm glad people are having fun." Eventually, we will have that gorgeous, harmonious night that'll fully restore our collective faith and inspire us to move forward with the incredible passion we saw in the artists we lost. But for now, it comes in waves.